It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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