is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
