for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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