How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Randomize
