Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Randomize
