what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
