Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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