Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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