The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
