a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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