Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
