Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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