did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
