If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
