I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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