What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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