just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
