i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
