a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
