I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
