I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
