"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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