I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
