Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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