He uses pillows to masturbate.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
