# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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