The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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