that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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