I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
