Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
