thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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