i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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