It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
