i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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