you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
