Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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