writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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