So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I understand Curling. That high.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
