I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
