I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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