we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
