Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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