I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
