Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
