I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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