So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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