please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
