My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
