i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
