Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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