I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
