umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
is that a dick in a sweater?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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