Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
try to milk me bitch
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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