I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
