If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
