ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she peed on how many people?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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