You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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