You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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